Thursday, October 1, 2015


I have started practicing lettering recently.

I am really, really bad at sticking with practicing.  But I have been consistent with lettering this week.  And each letter that I shape becomes less shaky, less wobbly.   My baby art skills start to grow up a little bit.  Older and older they become.  Minute by minute they step forward into the future.

And it reminds me, that practice does make progress.  And practice grows me.  And I need to make an effort to be consist with the areas that I want to excel in.

Here goes nothing.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Who am I?

Yesterday I read the book Scary Close by Donald Miller.  I fell in love with the book, and would recommend it to anyone who wants to learn more about vulnerability and intimacy in any relationship.  Miller shared his own journey with many of the things that I have been learning over the past few years.

Miller tells of how he has learned many things that block intimacy in relationships.  One of the things that Miller told of in his book was a story of when he was young.  He lied and hid his struggles so that his classmates would not know what was going on in his life.  Miller, through this, started to join others in their critique of him.  He decided there was something wrong with him because others said that there was.

In the same way this quote struck me.

Don't judge yourself by what others have done to you:

We tend to believe that since others have hurt us, we deserve to be hurt.  Since we were abused, we have no worth.

We cannot judge ourselves by what people have done to us.

Our worth should not come from what others have done- especially not to us.

You are a poem, a masterpiece.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Grace for Me

I struggle to give myself grace.  I am a magnet for self-blame.  If something goes wrong, I immediately think of how I am responsible for what happened.

When I saw this picture on Pinterest, it struck a chord.


How long would it take for me to name myself?  Would I even get to myself before I ran out of things to list?

I have learned so much about grace and self-care the past two years, but I am still on a journey.  If you struggle with having a healthy image of yourself, you aren't alone.

Remember that you were created in God's image.  In order to love others well, we have to be able to have a healthy and loving view of ourselves.

Ephesians 2:10 says that you are God's workmanship.  He created you as his poem, his masterpiece.

God does not make junk.  He doesn't search through the dumpster and pull out random crap. He starts from dust and perfectly designs from the bottom up.

Love yourself by remembering who you were created to be.

By loving yourself you can learn to love others in a beautiful way.

Monday, September 14, 2015


And we became afraid of ourselves.  We locked the closet doors that make up the partitioned rooms inside of ourselves.

We picked up our masks, the persona that we were confident, and that our lives are beautiful.  Our lives an explosion of perfect, even better than could be imagined.

The monsters ruled our insides.  Steadily they shredded the carpets, shattered the windows, and captured the beauty.  The beauty was kept locked away in the destroyed rooms.

The longer the beauty remained prisoner, the more it seemed to fade.  And the light seemed to disappear from our eyes, and there was no answer on whether or not it would return.

The monsters crept up our throats and began to steal our voices.  And all that remained was the beauty peeking out of the windows of our souls



Thursday, September 10, 2015

We'll See You Tomorrow

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

I can't even imagine the pain that some people are probably feeling today.  I cry while watching movies and a character loses someone close to them.

Suicide leaves so many questions.

Was I a reason they wanted to leave? Could I have done something to ease the pain? Why did they choose for this to be the end?

We could keep going, but we need to stop.  Asking endless questions about the meaning behind a suicide will only add excessive guilt to already hurting people.  Instead of focusing on the questions and the past, I want to focus on the future, and the actions that we can control.  This is a great post that talks about how suicides that we know can help us to change the things to come.

Some things I want you to know:

1. People who struggle with mental illnesses are normal.

2. You never know what people are going through unless you take the time to ask them.

3. Sometimes it hurts too much to share what is going on.
"My fears kept me silent, and I began to believe every lie depression told me." - Julianne Elouadih:

4. Tomorrow can surprise you.

5. You have the power to influence others towards hope by giving them resources for change.

6. The thought of tomorrow has the promise of holding hope.

I want others to know hope.  No one should have to feel like they are alone.  We are made to live life together and that is why isolation holds so. much. pain.

I just read this blog post and my heart is currently bleeding.  If you do not read any of the other links in my post, please read "Promise Me Tomorrow".

If you ever feel too much, if you know anyone who feels too much, or you think it might ever be a possibility of feeling just too much, you have to read this post.

I'm so sorry things are hard.  I wish I could take the bad days away and make everything better for you.

But I do know this (best illustrated in this tumblr post):

Don't you dare tell me it (suicide) won't change things
There may be stars in the sky and wind in the air and sun in the clouds
But without you we do not want them

Please promise me tomorrow.  Ask for help.  Don't give up, even when the night laughs in your face and tells you that tomorrow isn't coming.  Because it is.  I promise.  And there is still time for tomorrow to surprise you.

You are loved.  You are precious.  You are needed.


P.S.  If you feel the desire to reach out to people, especially those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide, please donate to this page.  I have set a goal to raise $100 today to continue to offer hope, and I need you to come alongside and help.  You are not alone. Please pass that message on to others.