Today I was reminded of truth.
Jesus prays for me daily.
That put me in a state of awe. Why would Jesus pray for me?
After the immediate awe, a flood of emotions filled me.
Disbelief, humility, grief, a weight- so many emotions all at once.
It seems insane to me that Jesus, who is more important than any celebrity that I look up to, would think of me, and mention me by name to his father. Did I mention that his father is the God of the universe??? Why on earth would he humble himself to the point of thinking of me?
It is incredibly humbling to know that Jesus prays for me. I would not imagine that President Obama would call my boss to put in a good word for me. Yet Jesus who reigns over the universe, takes the time to talk to his father for me.
I feel like all of my efforts pale drastically in comparison. My feeble prayers look so small when compared with the perfect communion between God the father and His son Jesus. Plus, there's that huge detail about how terribly inconsistent I am when it comes to praying.
I LOVE being independent. When I am independent, I don't have to worry about if other people will follow through with their promises. I also need not worry about being abandoned. It's just me, myself, and I. Being hurt by humans gives you awful scars that show through as distrust. Sometimes it can be hidden, but in extremely stressful situations my lack of trust is a glaring attraction of attention. I wish it wasn't the case. I wish I could distinguish between my distrust of people and my need to take a leap of faith to trust God. What I tend to forget is that when I refuse to trust God, I'm disrespectfully telling the Creator of the universe that he is not big enough to handle my life.
Talk about a shot to the heart!
Despite what I may feel at times, God has never left my side. A constant companion, he sticks around to reassure my fearful heart of his promises. If I could translate my head knowledge to heart knowledge, I would believe firmly that my heavenly Father is always with me. Unfortunately, it is very easy in hard times for me to slip into the overwhelming feelings of being alone. This huge disconnect screams at me when I try to imagine that Jesus prays for me daily. I would have to believe that I'm not alone if I want to believe that Jesus intercedes through prayer on my behalf.
And that scares me. It can be a long, difficult process to change a core belief. It will probably take a lot of time to change what you see as truth. The beliefs that you hold did not become true to you overnight. In the same way, they will not be perfectly labeled as lies overnight.
Someone I respect greatly once shared this analogy with me. Just like we have to tell small children over and over again to say thank you, we will have to remind ourselves again and again of the truth. This is a process, a journey and NOT a result. It is natural to make mistakes. We are all human. No one is perfect. Would you spend your time kicking someone who is already laying on the ground? Don't do the same thing to your mind. If you are down, having made a mistake, do not kick yourself with extra guilt. It will not help anything, and will only cause you to feel further from your goal.
The knowledge that Jesus prays for me makes me long to be more consistent in prayer. I reminisce on the many times that I told people that I would pray for them and forgot to. I remember the many days that I did not make time to spend with God simply because I was tired. That seems such a paltry excuse when compared with the sacrifices of Christ. Why am I so quick to excuse my laziness with so many excuses? I am amazed at the patience that God has with me. No matter how many excuses I make up, he is always waiting patiently for my return. Nothing that I say or do reverses the love that he has for me. And I am so thankful for that truth.
Hey, want to hear something cool?!
The Holy Spirit is our partner in prayer. Living inside of us, we were given the Holy Spirit to intercede for us and strengthen us. That is one of the amazing tools that God equipped us with. When we ask God for consistency and strength, he will grant our requests.
Remember today that Jesus is praying for you by name. You couldn't possibly give a better reference to the Father.